2020, it’s been a funny old year so far, hasn’t it… I had three weddings in my diary to attend this year, and all have had to be postponed – including our own. It was heartbreaking, I sobbed and sobbed, our dream day, the event we had toasted to on New Years Eve, the event we had spent almost two years of our lives planning out, dreaming of and looking forward to, and there we were, now having to push it back a year. I felt all of this, and then slowly, I realised that actually, it’s not the end of the world, it really isn’t.
First of all, if you are in this situation and you’re considering it, what I will tell you – which will hopefully offer some reassurance – is that once you’ve finally made that decision, as upsetting as it is, it’s also a huge relief, and almost takes a massive weight off your shoulders. We were toying with the idea for weeks, our wedding was later on this year, but with the “lockdown” uncertainty, it would just leave us no time to finish our preparations such as dress and suit fittings, etc. We also didn’t want to add any more financial pressure to our friends and family – we know a lot of people at the moment are worried about their finances – and we just didn’t want to give them something unnecessary to worry about. We also wanted to enjoy the run up to what is hopefully going to be one of the best days of our lives, we never imagined it to be like this… and finally, we wanted to be able to spend the day with our loved ones, and there was also the risk that some of our very elderly family members, and also people travelling from overseas, just wouldn’t be able to make it without huge pressure and risk on them – and so, our decision was made.
But here’s why it’s not the end of the world, and what you can do about it. First of all, marriage is so, so much more than that one special day – right now we just feel very, very lucky to have each other and our health; we have all the time in the world together, and that’s one of the biggest things to be grateful for at the moment. We also know we are not alone, pretty much everyone getting married this year that we know have also had to make the same decision, and there is always comfort to be taken from knowing you’re really not the only ones, not by a mile. I’ve also come to realise that all this is going to do, is make the day even more special, like hugely – just imagine how happy people are going to be once normality resumes and they get to celebrate with you, that will be one big celebration! And a really big one, especially for me – I’ve genuinely (stressful moments aside) really enjoyed planning the wedding, I know a lot of brides once it’s all done say they have huge post wedding blues; so if you’re a 2020 bride, just think, it gives you even more time to enjoy that lovely time in life, that you will only ever get once – so let’s take a positive from it and know we get even more time to feel all warm and excited!
Right… feelings aside, you need a plan – and that plan probably isn’t half as overwhelming as you may be expecting. Would you be surprised if I told you I managed to get our entire wedding (including every single supplier) postponed in one day – and we also still managed to get every single supplier and plan we had made, with no impact at all? It genuinely wasn’t half as difficult as I had expected. The most important thing to consider, and it’s really hard not to, is don’t rush. I know the temptation is there to just move things as quickly as you can to the next available date, but you really do need to sit down together and think about what you want. We still really wanted our dream autumn wedding, and so we acted now to make sure we were still able to get the date we wanted – we planned ahead, and we didn’t rush it through. We postponed by an entire year, but it saved us so much stress, and did mean we could still have everything we hoped for.
The first thing you need to plan for is your venue and actual vow ceremony. Understand what dates they have available, and then compose a blanket email to send out to all your suppliers to ascertain if they are also available on these dates. If you are trying to re arrange for as soon as possible, you do need to consider that not all suppliers will be available – so work out what is most important to you if that’s the case, and which ones you would be prepared to forego. Some friends have had to do this, because they wanted the next available date, but luckily their suppliers agreed to refund all but their deposit.
Be kind, and know that as much as it feels like it is, this isn’t just about you. Some of your suppliers will be extremely anxious about their businesses and livelihoods, and you really need to appreciate this. It’s better to re arrange with them, rather than cancel – and what I did, is also offer to still pay our suppliers this year, as if we were going ahead with our original date – so that it would hopefully not impact them as badly financially; but do make sure you extend your wedding insurance before you do this, and ensure you will still be covered.
Once you’ve got your date moved and suppliers re arranged; it’s time to let people know. We had already sent out our invites, but our stationery illustrator was lovely and said that she would work with us to get some change of date cards created and issued out; so we are going to re send those at the beginning of next year, and ask everyone to do a quick re rsvp. Because we had already sent out the invites, we can keep it a little simpler – everyone had the key information and menu, the guest list doesn’t need to change – so again, this doesn’t have to be as daunting as I had initially thought. We also created a quick blanket text to send to everyone, letting them know the new date, and asking them to save it. This took about an hour, and was actually quite a nice thing to do as it opened up lots of conversations with the most special people in our lives – which is very much needed at the moment!
If you have had to re arrange your big day, just know, your special time will come around – and my goodness will it be special. As heartbreaking as the decision is, people have been so supportive and kind over it – we couldn’t have asked for more from our suppliers and venue – times like this really bring out the kindness in people, and that in itself is something to celebrate. Things will be okay, and you will get your day – and please just know that you really aren’t alone…
