I was messaging a friend last week and we were discussing how my wedding planning was going; my friend said it sounded like I had pretty much sorted everything, and even though I have been extremely organised so far, I realised that actually, I was quite far from it. Yes, I’ve booked our venue and paid deposits on the main things – the obvious bits that would instantly come to mind such as the cake, photographer etc… but in reality, there’s so, so much more to think about on top of all that. It’s easy to see why lots of people opt for a wedding planner. But to be fair, I’ve actually found it to be quite manageable just by planning in advance, and making checklists of exactly what I need to organise and when. My friend asked if anyone had ever actually made a list of all of all these considerations, and whilst I’ve found apps to be helpful for identifying the big hitters – again, like your venue and photography – I did struggle to find anything that included absolutely everything, even those minor details – and so I thought I’d have a go at creating one myself. Now of course this list isn’t exhaustive, as every wedding is different; for example, if you’re travelling to tie the knot, your list would differ from mine. But this one works for me, and the wedding we have chosen, and regardless of your wedding choices, hopefully it will help you out a little, or even just give you a few ideas…
Rough numbers – Before you go ahead and sign on the dotted line for your wedding, you’ll need a general idea of numbers. Before we booked ours, we sat down and made a list of definite attendees – so for example, even though we booked two years in advance, immediate family, bridesmaids, groomsmen and best men wouldn’t be changing. We then made a rough list of who we would be inviting to the day, but left a couple of open numbers for any relationship status changes (that sounds cynical, but I can’t guarantee my favourite cousin will stay single for the next two years can I now?), and also any new people that come into our lives in that time; so yes, your day list is for your closest friends and relatives, but again – I can’t guarantee that there will be no babies appearing over the next two years, or even that we may welcome a special friend that makes a huge impact on our lives in that time. I suppose it’s all dependant on how far in advance you are booking, we will solidify our list a year before – but having a rough idea is important… and remember, the evening numbers aren’t so strict, so you can always add more to that list.
Budget – Sit down and plan out your budget before you look at anything else. Once you have that in place, you know what you have to work with and won’t waste your time looking at venues, dresses, photographers… all the main things – that aren’t actually possible anyway.
Venue – This is more than likely the first thing you’ll want to get set in stone. Once you know your venue, you have a solid timeline to work to – but you’ll also know what extras you need to arrange. For example, you may have opted for a package wedding where the canapés, wedding breakfast and evening food is included; or, you may have just hired an open venue where you’ll be arranging catering yourself. Once you know this, your planning will be a lot less overwhelming.
Wedding insurance – One of the less glamorous aspects, but an essential. Get it. It’s important. It cost us about £50, and that was it done. It protects you against any suppliers going bust, or even the extremity of your wedding venue burning down. I know it’s not the most romantic thing to think about, but it takes 10 minutes to do, and once it’s in place you can relax up.
Legal Arrangements – Are you having a church wedding, or a civil ceremony? Regardless, there are things to organise here. Our venue offers both a civil ceremony and an on site chapel wedding. Naively I thought that because the chapel was included within the booking, all that would automatically be sorted – but no, there’s a recommended vicar, but that doesn’t mean that he has to be the chosen one, and even though he was – I did still have to book him in separately; and there’s then a whole heap of admin (albeit lovely admin) that comes with that, for example choosing your vows and the order of your service. Again, this will be solidified closer to the time, but you do initially need to get the booking in the diary – as without it, there’s not going to be any point stressing about all the other bits. Likewise if you opt for a civil ceremony, you still have to book the registrar, and give notice of your marriage. This is important stuff, and the bit that if you leave it too late, could quite well cause you the biggest amount of stress. We booked our vicar as soon as we booked the wedding; likewise with your legal arrangements you can do this ASAP, however if you’re not in a position to do that, I’d recommend doing it about a year in advance, if your timeline allows.
Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, Ushers, Witnesses – Choose your special people in advance, and think about exactly how you want to ask them too. This is a lovely, fun, and enjoyable part of planning – and you’ll find that these people will also more than likely want to get involved and help you with those preparations, which always makes life easier.
Food – Wedding breakfast, canapés (people tend to get peckish when waiting around for the photographs to be taken), evening food, dessert tables; lots to think about here. Again, it may be that your venue provides this as part of your package, ours does – but we still want to have a dessert table in addition, for the evening entertainment. Again, I’d get this booked in as soon as possible as things can get booked up in the wedding world pretty far in advance.
Cake – Booking our cake in was also something we did quite early on. I began with collating lots of images of designs I liked, then had a chat with the cake maker about what was possible, and budget etc. At the moment, I have a pretty solid idea of what I’d like, but tastes and trends may change… so we’ve left it open to change if needed, and this will need to be solidified about 6 weeks before. We are going for our cake tasting session about 8 months prior to the actual wedding date.
Drink – If you’ve gone for a traditional venue, it’s highly likely there will be a bar on site. However, you also need to think about the wedding breakfast – so our venue offers wine for the table in the package, and also champers for the toast… but if you’re doing your own thing with catering, you’ll need to give this a think also. Likewise, guests will need watering whilst you are getting your photographs taken – which generally tends to be after the legal ceremony.
Transport – Again you can pretty much book this in as soon as you’ve secured your venue, if you want to. You’ll need to have a think about the type of transport you need, but also exactly what your requirements are. If you’re getting ready at home, you’ll need to be transported to your venue or church, you then may also need to be transported to your venue, after the ceremony if you’re not doing this on site. Again, if you’re not doing everything on site, you may also want to think about how you’re going to get your guests from your church to the venue, as not everyone drives. We are doing everything on site, but I’ve been to weddings in the past where they put on coaches or mini busses for their guests, and that seemed to work well.
Photographer – Another one you can move on pretty much as soon as possible. Photographers do tend to get booked up quite far in advance, so once you know what you want, if you’re in the position to put a deposit down, really there’s no need to wait around on this one. Alternatively you may still be indecisive, and that’s fine – but you do probably want to be securing this about a year in advance. Food for thought – what kind of thing do you want: just photographs, photographs and a video diary, do you want photographs of the pre preparations?, do you want your photographer to capture the evening events too? Get a general idea of this in your mind before you speak to the photographer, it will really help.
Music – Do you want a band, a DJ, musicians? Lot’s to think about here. First of all, there’s the evening entertainment. The band we actually wanted were booked up two years in advance – two. years. So no time like the present on this one… but it’s not just the evening music you need to think about… there’s your ceremony entrance music, leaving the church / ceremony, perhaps you’ll want something subtle playing whist the guests are being seated and the registers are being signed, do you want to put some music on to entertain guests whilst photographs are being taken? Lots to plan here, don’t leave yourself short.
Entertainment – It may not just be music you want to use to entertain your guests. Standing around waiting for photographs can get very boring, especially if your best friend has dragged her boyfriend along who doesn’t actually know that many people. Likewise, there can also be a bit of a lull after the wedding breakfast, whilst you’re having the evening turnaround, most people do tend to drink around this time, but have a look at your timings and determine if it this part of the day is something you need to have a think about. There are however, so many options these days – giant board games, magicians, food… you want to get people mingling, and you want to get people enjoying themselves. Also, photo booths are quite big these days, is that something you want for your evening party? If you’re inviting children, would something to keep them occupied be of use, I don’t recall weddings being one of my funnest memories under the age of 10…
Toastmaster – Most venues do provide this, but if you’re doing your own thing, it’s something you need to consider. Even if it’s provided, you need to think about your preferences? Are you wanting to be announced into the room for the wedding breakfast, or do you just want them to literally announce the toasts? Do you want to hire someone, do you want the person the venue provides to do this, or is there someone special in your party who you had in mind?
Bridal Shoes – Something to have a think about, before you get your dress. You don’t have to have them chosen and bought prior to this, but you do probably need to know what heel height you’re going for, before you choose a dress. If you are eager and have already purchased your shoes, it’s a great idea to bring them along to any dress try ons, and especially fittings.
Wedding Dress – Obviously. You can gather inspiration in advance, but I’m not going to secure my chosen design until about a year before. First of all, doing it exactly a year before allows me to see the general style and trend for that season… but also, yes, I have lots of ideas and inspiration I love now, however trends and taste change; so whilst I do have quite a good idea, I am keeping an open mind on the design until the year before. If you’ve booked your wedding with less than a year to go, you probably want to get started on this one as soon as.
Accessories – Veil or no veil? Hair accessories? Jewellery? Again I have a general idea, but once I have my wedding dress set in stone, I’ll then plan all the additional bits around that. It is however a good idea to start thinking about what inspires you, and what you like.
Save the date cards – We will probably send these out about 10 months before. Once you send these, there is no going back, so your list needs to be solidified, with potentially a small reserve list if there are people who can’t make the date.
Wedding invitations – I’m going to send these out about 6 months before the wedding – it’s really important to put an RSVP request on them, as you’ll need this to get your seating plan in place. Make sure you give yourself plenty of time for this, I think requesting an RSVP response with a maximum of two months after relieving the invite is pretty fair. A great idea that more people seem to be using these days, is to set up an email that allows people to send their RSVP – it’s free, and it’s minimal effort for your guests.
Accommodation – If your venue has on site accommodation, you’ll want to advise of this when you send out the invites, and also provide some information about how to book. You need to think of your own arrangements too, will you be staying at the venue the evening before, where will the groom be staying? Where will you be staying the night of the wedding? We arranged and booked these details in at the point of actually booking the wedding, that way it was secured, and just one less thing to worry about.
Suits – Not only for the groom, but for the best men, ushers, page boy if you’re having one. I’m leaving this one to my fiancé, but we are giving a timeline on this for about 8 months prior to the big day.
Wedding rings – I will look to sort mine about a year before, I think I’m going to do it when I get my shoes – but that’s because I’m planning on making a special day out of it. But as long as you do have it on your list of things to do, there shouldn’t be too much stress with this one. If you know what you want, or at least have an idea, there are so many places you can easily purchase your wedding rings from. Just please don’t forget this part… I think it’s an easy one to lose sight of, especially when planning really hots up.
Hair and Makeup – Not only for yourself, but for your bridesmaids and other special people too. You’ll want to have a trial a good few months before, so it’s a great idea to start collating inspiration before you have that. You’ll also need to think about where this will be done – if you’re having the hairdresser and makeup artist come to you, you need to ensure you’ve got somewhere with adequate space to cater for everyone.
Flowers – Again, there’s not only yours to sort, but bridesmaids – if they are having bouquets – and also buttonholes for the men. Our florist comes as part of our package deal, but if not it’s something you probably want to look to at least have a chat about, a good few months in advance. The thing about flowers is that a florist can provide for numerous people on the same day – so just because they are providing for someone else wedding that day, doesn’t mean yours can’t be delivered on the same day too – so there’s a little less stress with that… but they will shape the general theme and decor of your wedding, so having a think about it as early as possible really isn’t a bad thing.
Decor – Table flowers, candles, altar flowers, fairy lights, table numbers (or words), seating covers, card boxes, special photographs; lots of options to think about, and ones that can again sometimes get overlooked. Easy to arrange and organise, as long as you do have it on your agenda. I’ve been pinning loads of inspiration for this since day one – the table, room and altar flowers will be arranged with my bouquet – so that makes life easier; then any other bits like candles and table numbers, a box for our wedding cards, photographs of loved ones – I’ll probably secure those up about two months before.
Confetti – This probably won’t be provided by your venue, so make sure you order it in. About two to three months before is fine, or even later if you’re comfortable with that – it just means you can relax more closer to the day if you get it sorted earlier. Tip – going for biodegradable is much kinder to the environment, and really won’t make a difference to you and your budget, please consider it.
Wedding favours – Quite often these tend to be perishable goods, so you don’t want to order them too far in advance – I’m ordering ours in about 6 months before, that way it’s just another easy job ticked off the to do list, and one less thing to think about closer to the time. There are so many lovely ideas for these about at the moment, but do consider if you’re having children there, what’s appropriate for them also – if you are having children, you may want to get a different type of favour for them, dependant on what you were going for in the first place.
Stationery – I’ve touched on invitations, but you also need to think about place cards, menus (if you want to provide them), and a seating plan guide. I’m going to have mine created by the same person who is providing the invites; but there are lots and lots of options. This is a funny one as you will probably want to get it ticked off as soon as you can, but until you have your RSVP’s and seating plan sorted, you are a little limited here.
Seating plan – As soon as you have your RSVP’s you can get going on this one – it may be one of the more stressful tasks, so bring in help, mums are always a good one for this. You want to also consider the top table, and who will be sitting there – this one may be a good starting point. It’s then probably a good idea to group your guests, obviously families will sit together; groups of friends; potentially children if they are old enough, and know each other well; there will probably be a small group of people who don’t know anyone else at all, as someone who has been in a situation like this before at a wedding, please don’t forget about them – people just want to feel relaxed and have a good time at a wedding, they all have one thing in common and that’s you, so seat them where possible, with likeminded people, people who are of a similar age, and people they will find it easier to chat to.
Give notice of your marriage – This must be done at least 28 days before, but I’m not sure why you’d want to leave it that late, if your timeline allows. Regardless, whatever you do, do not forget to do this – otherwise there won’t be a wedding.
Choose your vows and order of service – A lovely, but more time consuming task, that the both of you will need to do together. The person conducting your ceremony will help you with this one, so don’t be too overwhelmed, it is something that should be enjoyed – but it’s also important. You’ll need to have a think about if you’re wanting any readings, and who you want to deliver those readings too.
Timings – You’ll now have a good idea of this, as it tends to be shaped by all your other planning. Make sure whoever is overseeing the day has these timings in hand, this will ensure things run smoothly.
Morning and night before arrangements – I did touch on this above, but you need to have it arranged where your wedding party is staying the night before – the two of you most importantly; but also what the arrangements are for the morning, where do your bridesmaids, best men, ushers, witnesses, parents etc need to be, and at what times? Make sure this has been communicated to everyone clearly to alleviate any wedding day stress.
Rehearsals – You’ll need to have a ceremony rehearsal prior to your big day, now this one is way ahead of the game for me… but I believe we will be doing ours a few evenings before the actual day. If children are going to be part of your service, this is also a great time to help them feel more relaxed and take away any worry.
Gifts – You’ll more than likely be arranging gifts for your bridesmaids, best men and any other special people who were part of the wedding. Put these on your checklist, and then decide how you will gift these – at the wedding breakfast, the morning of the wedding, will you leave them in the hotel rooms? Just something to consider, to again allow things to run smoothly and leave you with less to sort out on the actual morning.
Thank you cards – Phew. And once it’s all done, there’s going to be quite a few people you’ll want to thank. Not only your guests, but people who supported you and made your day super special. I always find it a lovely touch, and if it is something you’d like to do, don’t let it pass you by once the wedding whirlwind has settled.
Photograph taken at Anita Massarella Bridal Boutique: 490, Harrogate Road, Leeds, Yorkshire, LS17 6DL
